However, by taking things slow, your partner is hoping to build an even stronger foundation on which your budding and blooming connection can grow.An additional reason why your partner may want to take things slow may simply have to do with the meaning that he or she places on different relationship milestones, occurrences, and events.Tess: OK, so here's the question: Dow does a new couple navigate the waters of sharing about themselves openly and honestly without overwhelming the other with information and/or going too quickly in the relationship so as to make it unhealthy?Monica: Striking a healthy balance between sharing openly and moving too quickly has a lot to do with boundaries built around levels of trust and commitment.And if your partner had been hurt in this past relationship and/or has been off the market for some time, it may be even more challenging for him or her to fully open his or her heart to you right off the bat.With this in mind, taking things slow enables your partner to develop your new connection at a rate that’s truly comfortable for him or her.Zach: Monica is right; you do need to be aware of boundaries, but it’s important to take risks as well. Also, to Monica’s point about boundaries, it might help to set actual time boundaries.
Trouble is, I've been burned in the past by sharing too much too quickly.
The questions you should ask yourself to determine when to be vulnerable are: For example, on a first date, there is typically no commitment and you likely don’t know if you can trust the other person to treat your feeling with respect. But then maybe on date four or five the conversation naturally evolves to the topic of say, losing loved ones.
How much would you feel comfortable revealing to someone? As you converse, you see that he treats the subject with sensitivity and maybe he has revealed a type of loss that you relate to.
Monica: This has always been one of the trickier dating problems for me, balancing protecting myself emotionally while still allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. Sounds like your relationship is at this really tender and vulnerable stage and does indeed require a degree of caution, but also courage.
The beginning of a relationship is really cool..you do need to do the work of getting to know each other, but yeah, there’s a limit.
Joe, on the other hand, was a little nervous about moving too fast, so he set boundaries to help us keep a healthy pace. I couldn’t understand why he would want to slow things down. Tess: I'm writing to you today to see if you have any advice on how to navigate a new relationship I'm in.