That's not to say that Mouse Mingle is devoid of perfectly datable people, but the chances they live nearby and meet all of your other, albeit less crucial, non-cartoon criteria, are really quite small. In nearly two months, I got all of two "Winks," Mouse Mingle's cutesy version of a right swipe.The one-man show behind Mouse Mingle, Dave Tavres, told me that he knew of two couples who had actually met in person. I'd matched with nearly 10 times as many men in two days on Tinder.I'm a total Pluto person with a "Star Wars Nerd Level" of "Meh," if you must know.With each box ticked I could see my Olympic-sized dating pool turning into a romance Lazy River, where I'd be lucky to see a fresh turd float by. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but not particularly surprising, either.You’ll think you can be cool and let him get away with it because well, he’s a sailor, and that’s what they do.Except that you’re still human and you have a heart, and you could be setting yourself up for a fall.It’s almost gale force 6, so I’ll go reef the jib while you guys lower the streech on the brum. In a pub, the sailor is the one everybody wants to be near.They can spin you yarns for hours from all the ports they’ve seen, all the storms they’ve battled, all the sunsets they’ve watched.
If there’s anything a sailor likes more than having a girl in every port, it’s having a girl he’s known since high school to joyfully meet him when he gets home.
Hey, after two months at sea, crammed into a testosterone-fueled cabin with no contact with the outside world, you’d go feral, too.
Still, be prepared for sloppy eating habits, rude sounds emanating from various orifices, and sea chests stuffed with pornography.
There are services for salad lovers and bacon lovers, for admirers of sea captains and farmers, for pot smokers and sober sweethearts, for Filippina Christians, Ayn Rand enthusiasts and people who have the hots for hot sauce.
If you can find a way to categorize a future mate based on a mutual love of something -- anything -- there's an app for that.
But as the old bedroom adage goes: Don't knock it 'til you try it. Let's get one thing out of the way up front: This is not the Magic Kingdom of dating apps, but it is, in fact, a real mickey mouse operation.