Rule number three is similar to rule number one except it takes more effort.You have to be able to wipe the slate clean before you can get back together with an ex.I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three.In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend.Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend's ex.
They wholeheartedly believe that it's wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they'd never talk to that person again.
They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.
Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.
But, every once in a while I’ve been known to give it a go with an old flame, and it’s usually worth the second chance.